


my love, you have too many smiles left in you to be so sad

by siriuslydraco



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslydraco/pseuds/siriuslydraco
Summary: "Merry Christmas, princess"
Relationships: Kate Fuller/Seth Gecko
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	my love, you have too many smiles left in you to be so sad

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was requested on tumblr and the anon asked for a prompt where Seth gives Kate a cross necklace as a gift and this just came out of it!! Enjoy guys!! 
> 
> title from an atticus poem

_**Last Christmas** _

The Christmas holidays had passed uneventfully and harshly the year she had defeated Amaru's control of her body, and Kate had spent it not like how she used to. Back home in Bethel she had always spent Christmas peacefully and joyfully. Her Mama had made the best turkey stuffing she had ever had and her small, perfect family would sit together at the table and pray and eat and _laugh_. They'd open presents in front of the immaculately decorated tree with mugs of cocoa and thank one another with squeals of delight and hugs. Her daddy's Christmas morning service had always been the highlight of the towns celebrations and she had sat in the pews with her mother and brother, looking on proudly as Pastor Fuller had preached about morality and love to the congregation. It had all been like a cheesy Christmas movie, as Seth would say, but it had been exactly the way the holidays should be spent with family. 

It hadn't always been so perfect though- one year Scott had almost set the tree on fire by putting too many lights on at once and Kate had ruined the gravy because she had insisted on helping her Mama in the kitchen, but it still beat being holed away in a bedroom in the back of a Houston bar without even a Christmas tree or decoration to kindle her festive spirit. 

If she hadn't known any better she wouldn't have even guessed it was the holiday season because there was no sign of either Richie or Seth attempting to do anything remotely festive.

That was until they both realised Kate was miserable throughout the weeks leading up to the 25th, and refusing to come out of her room to do anything other than use the bathroom or get a snack. Then all of a sudden Richie seemed to be struck with sudden jovial inspiration because he kept playing Christmas songs over the bars jukebox and even decorated Jed's for the inevitable influx of seasonal drinkers. 

Kate had not sung along to any of the songs and had not participated in the decorating despite the fact she knew Richie was only doing it for her- a selfish move on her part but she hadn't the energy to care. She had even seen Seth begrudgingly holding up tinsel while Richie tied it around the doorframe of the bars entrance, but she had just stayed locked in her room away from all the unbearable festivity. 

Kate had spent Christmas day that year in sweats and with baggy eyes from all the crying she had done the night before and if she got up out of bed once it was only to pee. Both Geckos had tried to talk her into going for some Christmas eve dinner somewhere- Richie had thought that by naming some swanky restaurant in town that it would somehow put her in the mood, but she had refused straight out.

She wanted to wallow in her misery and why wouldn't they let her, dammit? It was her first Christmas without her Mama and Daddy and brother, and she had fucking _died_ , for crying out loud! Why couldn't they understand that? 

She hadn't wanted to go out and celebrate because she had nothing to rejoice over.

She'd died and then come back with a demon inhabiting her weakened body and she'd _killed_ with her bare hands and hurt people. She did not feel like sitting in a restaurant with Christmas songs playing softly in the background while being surrounded by genuinely happy people. The thought alone was unbearable.

The brothers had left her alone after a while, Seth's strained voice behind the door the last thing she heard before dozing off into a fitful sleep. 

But when she woke hours later with sweat matted hair and a thumping heartbeat left over from her nightmare she managed to feel something other than misery when her eyes fell on a slumped and sleeping form in the large cushy chair beside her bed.

Seth Gecko looked so boyish when he was asleep and the heart that had been thudding loudly in her chest moments before became a lapping muscle of sporadic flutters as she sat up and looked at him.

He was _beautiful_. Inside and out- even if most people considered him to be volatile and arrogant. Kate knew better though- she knew the real Seth, and she felt her heart skip a beat yet again when he moved in the chair and began to open his eyes. 

"Hey" she breathed out to him, bringing her knees up to her chest and suddenly realising she felt tiny and swallowed up in the massive bed.

Kate had felt a violent urge to stretch out her hands to him and invite him to lay beside her but she stopped herself before making a move. She _loved_ him- wanted him in ways her Mama would scold her over if only she knew- but she tucked her hands beneath the covers and didn't move. 

"Hey, princess" he croaked out as he rubbed his eyes with the back of a veiny hand "what time is it?" 

His dark eyes peered around the room to find the red glaring digits on the alarm clock that rested on Kate's bedside table, and when he found them his mouth twitched into a grin. 

"It's one thirty in the morning. Officially the 25th of December" Seth smiled at her like she had hung the stars "Merry Christmas, princess" 

She was hit then with a sudden thought that was as rapid and hard as being hit by a freight train. 

She had been wallowing to herself for almost a whole two weeks now, and all Seth had done was sit by her side and listen to her crying and screaming late at night. He had gone to _Hell_ for her, fought for her and he'd never stopped believing that she could be saved. A sharp pain ruptured under her right rib and she felt like it was all her broken pieces rapidly fixing themselves together under the weight of his dark gaze. 

She wasn't alone in this world- not when he was with her. Her parents may be dead, her brother lost to whatever carnal hunger he held for being a nomad and she may have been possessed by Hell itself. But she wasn't _alone_. She felt the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes and then she managed something she hadn't done in a while- she smiled. 

"Merry Christmas, Seth" Kate said to him- and this time her arms did reach for him. 

* * *

_**This Christmas** _

"A little higher, baby! No higher!" Kate calls commandingly from where she stands ogling the giant white Christmas tree with her head cocked to one side- hands on her hips and green eyes squinted slightly to get the best view on her masterpiece. Seth throws her a glare from where he's awkwardly standing on a chair, balancing on one foot as he leans up to put the tacky looking angel on top. He'd grumbled when Kate had called him away from topping up the bar to help her decorate- _"The angel is essential, Seth! It's the most important part of the tree!"-_ but underneath his miffed façade he really can't complain. 

At least this year Kate was happy to celebrate Christmas and not spending it as miserably as last year. 

"This okay?" Seth asks her with a raise of his eyebrow as he reaches to the very top branch and when Kate nods happily he places it down with a grateful and triumphant sigh. The smile that breaks onto her face at the sight of her finished tree is well worth any arm strain he just endured, and as he comes to stand behind her those arms are wrapped around her waist. 

"It looks amazing" Kate tells him as he leans down and places his chin on her shoulder, her body feeling scolding just by the presence of him alone. 

She had been the one to insist on decorating Jacknife Jed's this year for the holidays and as she eyes her handiwork she becomes overwhelmingly proud of herself. The glittering white tree that now sits beside the stage where the band will play is immaculately dressed in baubles of silver and gold with twinkling lights, and from the beams in the ceiling white and silver tinsel hang in drapes and cover the length of the bar.

She must say that the truck stop does look very civilised considering mostly culebras and old worn out truckers drink here. But in the last couple of weeks there has been an influx of office workers and department store clerks and the likes who have been drinking in small groups throughout the bar. Kate thinks it has a lot to do with the holiday cocktail promotion she persuaded the Geckos to advertise. Tonight however there won't just be the ordinary customers here, because tonight is their holiday get together with family and friends, that in Kate's opinion is long overdue.

"Well you just stood here looking all pretty while I did all the work" his lips start to trail down her cheek, his voice bringing her back to reality but she pulls away with a scoff, her nimble hands pushing at his chest. 

"You literally helped me put up one decoration because I couldn't reach, don't get all big headed" Kate scoffs at him, but he can see a smile twitch around her lips that makes him mirror one on his face. 

"Too late for that, princess" Seth makes a grab at her and triumphs, his large hands catching onto her dainty waist and trailing down the curve of her hips. She lets him bring her closer, because she always does. 

The reason she's even in the Christmas mood is because of this man before her- because he took her in his arms just before last December had ended and loved her so fiercely it left her shaken and he had promised her, promised that she would be okay. She was okay, she was better than that and any scars that Amaru or anyone else had left on her soul have long since been healed. 

She had entered a new year, still with a fragile mind and heart, but with a newfound determination to get up and live her life happily the way she used to. It would never be the same happiness as before, but it would be a different sort of joy that she could get out of life with Seth by her side. 

She smiles widely now as he brings her closer to his body, sighing contently with a gust of breath that stirs the hairs around her face. Her sparkly green eyes that remind him of a goddamn Disney princess (and yes he will never say that shit aloud) twinkle with the reflection of all the lights she had strung around the bar and he feels the pit of his stomach flutter as she gazes at him with an adoration he will never think he deserves. 

"I love you" Kate tells him so softly it's almost like a whisper, and he shudders gently as she brings her hands to his face to trail down to the length of his neck. He'll never tire of hearing her say that- and sometimes he envies Richie's immortality because Seth wishes he too had forever- a forever he'd spend with Kate. But someday- hopefully a long way away- he'll die a happy old man knowing that he was loved by her at all. 

"I love you too, baby girl" he tells her as he nudges his nose against hers- a little gesture he knows she goes weak for- and then his plumper lips are smothering hers in a loving kiss that's as gentle as a moths wing. 

"I'm happy this year, Seth" Kate tells him, fondly tracing his face with her eyes and a finger after she pulls away from his lips "the reason I'm even looking forward to Christmas is because of you. You made me feel better when I thought there would be no good days anymore. I feel myself again, as cheesy as that sounds and it's because of you" 

"I'd do anything for you, Kate, you know that" his voice is gone so soft now that it doesn't seem like him- but he doesn't care because Kate makes him that way and he can't seem to bring himself to apologise for any emotion she brings out in him.

Those green eyes of hers that tear into his soul and set it on fire now twinkle as they stare into him like he's made of glass- and he sure as hell feels as if he'll shatter into a million pieces when she launches herself against him and kisses him like he's the last breath of air she'll ever take. 

* * *

Jed's is in full swing- bustling and nattering people surround the crowded bar and the bands music seem to fuel the others that parade themselves on the dancefloor. It seems that the entire population of Houston has now come to crowd into the truck stop and as Seth eyes the crowd he has to give it up to Kate- she sure knew how to wrangle a Christmas cocktail special to get customers in. Right now the two for one deal his girlfriend had advertised on flyers now seems to be wracking up a fuss and Seth has to smile delightfully into his whisky when he thinks of all the money they're swindling from the tipsy college students. 

Aside from the happy thoughts of extra cash that they'll inherit after the busy festive night, it is also a nice notion that he has a night off from working behind the bar or hurriedly barking orders to those culebra employees Richie had insisted on hiring.

Seth sits now in one of the cushy leather booths- his arm slung along the back of one with Kate tucked under his arm. She's been listening to Margaret talk, smiling and nodding when she feels it's appropriate but Seth can tell she's not been herself the past couple of hours. Even Scott's arrival (late as per usual as he is to almost everything that he's invited to) had not made Kate as ecstatic as Seth had thought it would. 

Richie and Freddie sit across from Seth- arguing about which Burt Reynolds movie is the best while Scott looks into his scotch like he's contemplating making an exit, and as Seth stares at the small group he has to ponder on when this became his only stable indication of "family". Sure they weren't traditional and hell, some of them probably don't like him all that much (the Ranger and Scott come to mind) but this group have been together through almost everything and Seth just has to accept the fact that this is what he has now. 

The whisky glass that he always pours at Christmas for Uncle Eddie but never drinks now looks at him from where it sits on the table, and Seth has to swallow a lump in his throat at the thought of spending yet another holiday without the man who'd raised him. 

"Sorry, I need some air" Kate suddenly announces from where she sits tucked beside Seth, and his eyes and attention whip to her when he feels her move away from him. But she's gone before he can call her back or ask her if she's alright, and she disappears into the swaying crowd on the dance floor. Her quick escape seems to have rendered everyone silent in shared confusion and he finds everyone's eyes on him. 

"What did you do this time, Seth?" Richie asks him with a quizzical brow and a small fire lighting in his eyes. He normally scolds his brother if he ever pisses Kate off because to him she was like a sister- but this time Seth swears he has not done anything to infuriate the love of his life. 

"I didn't do anything!" Seth almost shouts over the bands cover of John Lennon's Christmas classic and finds that Richie's eyebrow shoots up infuriatingly smug- fuck Christmas spirit and love because Seth wants to punch that certain look off his brothers face. 

"Seth didn't do anything to Kate" Scott's voice suddenly says, and Seth finds he almost jumps at the sound of it as if he's a ghost that's materialised into thin air- because Scott hasn't done much talking this evening. Plus Seth is surprised that the kid is defending him for once. 

"He's prone to pissing her off" Richie announces as he shifts in his chair- a hand coming to smooth over the god awful Christmas patterned tie he had decided to wear. 

"This was our parents favourite Christmas song" Scott states bluntly and suddenly everyone around the table understands exactly why Kate had made a polite yet quick exit from the table. 

Seth doesn't say another word- just mutely curses under his breath as he too slides himself from the booth and into the throngs of Christmas party goers. He doesn't miss the pointed look that his girlfriends brother throws his way, but it's not condescending or harsh, more like a warning to thread carefully in the territory that is Kate's grief. 

He finds her at the back of Jed's in the delivery bay where they get their shipments of alcohol and he shivers as he steps through the open door of the kitchen and out into the night. Kate has her back to him, her small hands clutched around the metal railings that line the ramp she stands on and Seth's heart stops when he sees how desperate she looks. She's hunched over like she's trying to gather her breathing evenly and she looks so small and defeated that it almost breaks him too. 

"Hey, princess" he calls out to her softly and she turns to him with watery eyes and a chewed lip. She hurriedly wipes her green eyes on the sleeve of her horrendous Christmas sweater (that despite its apparent ugliness Seth has to admit it looks pretty cute on her) and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear to act nonchalant. 

Seth knows her inside and out though, and he knows she's hiding a deep pain beneath her fake smiles. 

"Hey, handsome" her voice wavers to him and before she takes another breath he's over to her- large and strong hands cupping her face gently. 

"You alright?" Seth almost whispers to her, seeing his own breath turn to ice in the air as he speaks. 

"I'll be okay" Kate answers "I just heard that song and I remembered all the times Daddy would dance with Mama in front of the tree whenever it played, and I just needed a minute. I'm sorry I ran out like that" 

"Kate, I understand completely. There's no need to apologise to me" Seth says as he rubs his thumbs under the tears that despite her strong willingness are managing to fall down her face anyway. 

"I know it's hard for you too, without your Uncle Eddie and I know you're being strong for everyone else. But I'm not that strong, I think I am and then I hear a song or see something that reminds me of them and I turn into a mess!" she tries to laugh at herself but the sound comes out breathlessly and broken, and she squints her eyes shut to get rid of the tears "I thought I had it together this Christmas. Apparently not" 

"Hey baby, don't beat yourself up over this! You're allowed to cry and miss your parents, even at Christmas. _Especially_ at Christmas. And you are strong, you're the strongest person I know. No one else I know would have stuck out the things you went through" Seth tries to reassure her with his words but he doesn't know if they're resonating with her when she just stares back at him with pure sadness in her emerald eyes "and fuck it, you do have your shit together this Christmas. You decorated Jed's and our house, you helped Richie shop for gifts and you're here wearing the most awful sweater I've ever seen with baubles in your ears that I'm pretty sure you stole from the tree. If that doesn't say Christmas spirit then I don't know what does"

"It's not that bad!" Kate laughs, genuinely this time as she points to her red and green sweater that looks like some old lady with sight problems had knitted it for her and the shiny spherical earrings that dangle down her face. 

"You do look cute in it though, if I do say so" Seth says as he places a gentle kiss to her nose, and he delights when she wraps her arms around his waist to pull him tighter. They just stay joined together for a few minutes, her face pressed to his chest and his chin on her head, both of them clinging to the other like a life line. Seth is always struck dumb over how much his heart goes haywire around her- even after all this time he can never get used to loving her and having her love him in return. 

"I wonder what they'd think of me, if they saw me now. I wonder if they'd be disappointed in me" Kate says after a while, her voice sniffling and soft and Seth pulls away to look at her. She has a look of conflict on her face and he knows what she means when she says her words.

She wonders if her parents would be ashamed she's fallen in love and into bed with a man ten years older than she is, who is a bank robbing criminal, and if they'd strike hatred upon her for deviating from the path of righteousness she was set upon as a child.

The Kate before him now has fought culebras, been possessed by a demon queen, walked into Hell and has stood beside him with shades on and a gun cocked- that's a far cry from the girl her parents had raised her as.

She's no longer the sundress wearing preachers daughter who'd smile in church and cross her legs. That girl is long gone. But Seth would love either version of Kate- or any version of herself she chose to become. 

"I know they'd be proud of you because despite everything you never lost your faith" Seth tells her and he can see something deep in her eyes sparkle as she looks at him "I can't speak for them, but I can imagine they'd be proud of you for never giving up on what you believe in. Fuck, Kate you've seen monsters, real monsters and you've been controlled by one and you still pray every night before bed even if you think I don't see you. How could they be disappointed in you?" 

Seth knows he's never been eloquent or careful with his words, he's never had that oozing vocabulary that Richard can stretch out but he can tell that Kate understands what he's saying.

His words are true, because despite everything she's been through she still manages to believe in faith and love, and most of all forgiveness. She still keeps a bible in her bedside table even though she never reads it and in the last couple of months she has been attending Sunday service. She's dragged Seth along with her nearly each time despite the fact he does not share her belief as strongly. But he can admit to himself that he has to thank whoever runs the show upstairs for giving Kate to him. 

As he looks at her now he can tell by the way something sparkles deep within her eyes that some small piece of doubt is flickering itself away from her. Her arms come to snake their way around his neck and his whole body sighs at her closeness. 

"I love you, do you know that? You always know what to say to me to make everything better" she says, stretching up on her toes to kiss him softly on the mouth. One large hand cups her face and the other traces the curling tendrils of deep red hair that tangles down her back and he feels like he could stand here all night just kissing her, but a sudden thought causes him to break away from her. 

"I um....I have something for you. I was gonna wait until later to give it to you at home beside the tree. I'd real romantic shit planned, but I guess now is as good a time as any" Seth tells her, pulling away from her to rummage in the inside pocket of his jacket. She just ogles him with a questionable excitement in her eyes as he draws out the long velvet box. 

"Seth, I thought we said we were waiting until Christmas day to give presents" she scolds him, but she smiles as his dark eyes meet hers. 

"I have a few other gifts planned, but I thought I'd give you this now. Since it seems fitting" 

With that he opens the black box and when he does something gold glints against the dim outdoor lighting of the delivery bay. Kate's breath stops when she eyes what's inside, and her heart beat falters in her chest with a dull thud. She can feel the beginnings of tears prick her eyes once again and she has to blink to clear her vision. 

A shaky hand comes to finger the gold chain that the thick cross hangs from, and suddenly a hundred different emotions hit her.

She thinks of her Mama then, of her laugh and her smile, actions that had seemed rare in the end but memories she has kept treasured in the depths of her mind. She thinks of her Daddy and how he could make a congregation laugh and cry with his sermons. She thinks of how she used to sit in the pews of Bethel Baptist and how she would hold her cross between her fingers as she'd pray. She remembers clutching that same cross beneath the bowels of the Twister as she'd recited prayers in her head and the desperate pleas for God to rescue her and lead her home. 

She guesses now as she looks at Seth and sees nothing but love- a love the bible itself had preached about- that God had answered her. He _had_ sent Kate to her home, her true home that is Seth Gecko and wherever he may be. 

"Turn it over" Seth's voice wavers to her gently, and her teary eyes meet his for a brief second before she turns over the cross. 

The lettering that is scrawled along the length of the cross is elegant and engraved into the gold deeply, and Kate gets another feeling of tightness in her chest as she reads them. _Love, Seth_. It's simple yet they resonate with her profoundly because she knows this isn't just a cross, and those aren't just words. It's a symbol of the faith she's never lost despite it all, and the thought of wearing his name on her cross makes her heart still, because she had always believed in him when she felt she had no faith left. 

"Do you like it?" he asks her and Kate nods, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. 

"It's perfect, Seth" she smiles up at him and he beams in return, soft creases appearing near his dark eyes.

His hands gently turn her around and then he's sweeping her hair over one shoulder to place the gold chain around her neck. She breathes deeply as she feels the cool gold partner with her skin and it's a strange feeling to be reunited with something she hadn't thought she'd missed all that much. But when her fingers go to trace the cross that now rests above her chest she feels more like the old Kate than she has in a long time. Perhaps now she has found the perfect balance of who she used to be and who she is- and she feels at peace with the thought. 

Seth smiles to himself as he wraps his arms around her waist, his lips coming to kiss the skin of her neck when he thinks of another piece of jewellery he'll gift her this year on Christmas day. But the piece he has in mind is tucked away in a small square box somewhere safe, and hopefully she'll wear it on her left hand as well as she wears this cross. 

"Merry Christmas, princess" Seth whispers to her softly, smiling into her neck when she squeezes his arms that wrap around her. 

"Merry Christmas, Seth" 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas guys!! Hope everyone has a good one this year. I'll be spending it avoiding relatives and reading fanfiction!! Comments are like presents so leave a few under the tree, guys!! Thank you all.


End file.
